loveless

Everything for you, just for today

By yourself once again, but this time it feels more comfortable, manageable, relaxing. You're not lonely, just alone. Today is one of the better days you suppose. Thankfully you've never been much of a people person before, so nobody talks to you unless you want it. Therefore today is a gift, only for you.

Either outside or indoors you plug in your headphones and start to drift away, away what has been pressuring you for the last few days, maybe even weeks. You may not even be interacting with the real world, just you and your imagination having fun. Your type of fun.

You are at the bus station, you get off the bus and simply start walking, walking and dreaming. Time to go shopping you think.

You've never focused on the smaller details of the building, the simple beauty of it hidden until you were ready for it. It's wonderful.

At the mall you buy things for yourself, a few notebooks, maybe some candy, definitely make up because you need to practice. Maybe even go to the cinema by yourself and watch a fun movie at an empty theater, a secret between you and the movie. It all feels just right, you may not be happy, but you're comfortable enough that it doesn't matter today, right now.

After everything you did for yourself today, you feel tired, maybe the headphones strained your ears a bit too much, the sunlight weakened your eyes just a bit. Bit by bit adding up and using up your stamina, it's not overwhelming for now. But just in case you unplug your headphones, put the music on a lower volume, collapse on the bed and close your eyes.

The melody rocks you back and forth, as a maternal figure with a lullaby. It feels as if a weight has been lifted, as if you feel more flexible, with more freedom than before. You can't help but drift away once more and rest.

A nice surprise

Can't help but feel at peace thanks to that one dream, you guess. The music is still playing as you try to open your eyes, just to avoid hogging the bed for half an hour more. But, as you get off the bed you notice something quite peculiar outside.

The sun is going down, and the skyline is clear.

You see red, see yellow, and mainly orange surround you with warmness, stars trying to shine their way into the sky, the sun beginning to retreat into the horizon, its full brightness barely tolerable for your still sleepy eyes. There's hints of blue and violet, signaling the calm and quiet of the upcoming night, clouds are coming in as you notice that, this night will be a rainy one. While you admire the view, the violet begins to turn surround the red more and more, the faint yellows and oranges going down with the sun, and the moon overlooks the sky. There are still a few hours before the rain fills the nightsky, so you decide to go outside for one or two more treats, all for you. Maybe you'll see a comet or a star in the dark, or feel the breeze as tear-like rain falls on and all around you, or lay down against the grass. But whatever happens it will be a moment kept secret between you and the night.